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Operating Systems

Most computer users understand that you need an operating system to use a computer practically, even if it is not clear why. But many users don't. Below are some funny real-life examples.

Tech Support: "May I ask what operating system you are running today?"

Customer: "A computer."

A girl walked into the computer center where I work. She said she was having problems with her Mac. I asked what kind of Mac she had. In an indignant voice, she replied, "Duh, Intosh."

Tech Support: "What operating system are you running? Windows 95?"

Customer: (a little too excited) "95, 97, 98, I've got them all!"

(After conferring with her husband, it turned out she owned a Macintosh with System 8.1. )

Tech Support: "Do you know what operating system you're on?"

Customer: "Hmmm...what would be a good answer?"

Customer: "I don't use DOS. What would happen if I deleted that directory?"

One time I had to walk a Windows 95 user through a particular procedure.

Me: "First you need to open DOS-prompt. I'll guide you--"

Customer: "MY COMPUTER DOES NOT HAVE DOS! YOU THINK I RUN THAT ANCIENT SOFTWARE?" (click)

Friend: "I heard about this thing called 'Linux'."

Me: "Oh, I use Linux."

Friend: "What is it?"

Me: "An operating system."

Friend: "Like Firefox?"

Friend: "Does Windows 98 support Linux?"

Overheard in a classroom:

Student: "How much do Windows cost, and do you have to buy each one separately?"

Customer: "How much do Windows cost?"

Tech Support: "Windows costs about $100."

Customer: "Oh, that's kind of expensive. Can I buy just one window?"

Customer: (angrily) "You said I would get 98 windows with this computer. Where are they?"

Tech Support: "What version of Windows do you have installed?"

Customer: "... Double glazed."

A customer called in with modem problems.

Tech Support: "Ok, we're going to check your modem settings. First thing we need to do is make sure all programs are closed."

Customer: "How do I know if everything is closed?"

Tech Support: "Make sure all windows are closed."

Customer: "But...I'm in the basement. I don't have any windows here."

(Lucky me, I made it to the the mute button in time! )

Tech Support: "What operating system are you running?"

Customer: "Hunh?"

Tech Support: "Do you have a Mac or a PC?"

Customer: "Um, I don't know."

Tech Support: "Ok. What does the screen look like?"

Customer: "It's yellow."

Tech Support: "Ok. What does it say on the computer CPU?"

Customer: "What's that?"

Tech Support: "The big grey box."

Customer: "It doesn't say anything."

Tech Support: : "Never mind that...do you have a little 'Start' button at the bottom of the monitor?"

Customer: "Monitor?"

Tech Support: "The thing that looks like a TV sceen sitting on the grey box."

Customer: "Oh! That! No. No start button."

Tech Support: "Ok. Is there a little apple symbol anywhere on the screen?"

Customer: (very puzzled) "Why would I have fruit on my computer?"

Two older looking ladies trying to figure out the computers at a local store:

Woman 1: "What is that little trash can on the screen?"

Woman 2: "My son says that is call the 'recycle bin'. He tells me when I don't want a Word document anymore and I delete it, it really goes in there."

Woman 1: "Why in the recycle thingy? Can't you just erase it?"

Woman 2: "Oh no, Word wouldn't work for very long if I did that, I would run out of blank pages."

Woman 1: "Why?"

Woman 2: "Because it cleans the words off the pages, then sends the blank sheets back to Word so they can be used again. That's why it's called the recycle bin."

Computer Stupidities - Operating Systems